Destination Peach

Where Reality and Inspiration Meet

20 Days of Peach: Day Eight… What Bali Taught Me About Love

In Bali, some unresolved issues came up for me. That’s how healing works…we can’t pick and choose when our soul is ready to do “the work”. What I discovered about myself was, I haven’t been open to love. Open to love in the romantic sense. Over the last few years, while being single I have worked on loving myself and have done a great job.

However, I haven’t been open to receiving love from a romantic partner. I’ve dated, my heart hasn’t been open. To think of opening my heart again makes me feel vulnerable. It’s a vulnerable feeling, making me want to cry. There’s an untapped issue I haven’t dealt with. I have done a great job of protecting myself. I haven’t let anyone in. It feels safer that way. Being able to control my narrative of hurt, brings me peace. Let’s be honest, some people be out here living wild. Also, the dating scene… My aura cannot tolerate B.S.

I know I have residing fears from my previous relationship. I refuse to let those fears stop my love life. I’m willing to take the risk and let love in. Now that I’ve identified my issue, I am actively working on the issue. My first step started in Bali. I was open to conversation, we formed a connection. We later exchanged numbers. He’s a dope person. Who knows what’s to become of it. In my actions, I need the universe to understand and know I’m open.

We’ll see how this risk-taking thing goes.

Until Next Time,

-Peach

Three Years Later…What I Learned From Being Single

The best thing I did for myself was be single. I was in a toxic relationship and wouldn’t admit it was toxic! All the signs were there, I refused to pay attention. Owning my truth, I made contributions to the toxic nature of the relationship by staying in the relationship for so long. When I finally came to the over-standing that this wasn’t the type of love I desired in a romantic relationship, I left!

And when I left, I felt free but afraid. I was afraid because I had spent a decade+ with someone I loved. Yet, there was a freedom in knowing that I wasn’t tolerating any B.S. and was finally putting myself first.

Spending a decade+ with a person, it took time for me to transition. I literally had to mourn the relationship. In those three years…

I needed to be by myself.

I needed to focus on myself.

I needed to focus on my mental health.

I needed to focus on God.

Three years is a long time to be single, but in three years I have grown. Now I’m not trying to be single forever, I still go on dates. I’ve shared a few vibes with people. Just haven’t found my unicorn yet. I say unicorn because it takes a special type of person to requite the love I need. Plus, people suggest that there are no good men out there, I don’t believe that to be true. Hence, the unicorn title!

To end this blog post, I want to share a few things I learned while being single.

  1. I’m responsible for the energy I allow into my life.
  2. I don’t need a person to make me whole, I am whole on my own.
  3. It’s selfish to jump into another relationship without working on “my stuff” first.
  4. The only love I truly need is self-love.
  5. There’s valuable lessons to learn in pain and suffering.
  6. I ‘m not wasting my summers on people who are not worth my time (s/o to Dion Cole for the summer metaphor).
  7. All I need to do is work on myself and everything else will fall into place.
  8. I love who I am.
  9. I am very clear on what I want in a future partner.
  10. Glow ups are a real thing!

For the people going through a breakup just know it does get better. Take your time…heal and love yourself.

Until Next Time…

-Peach

The Truth About Love

oh well

As of lately I have been making it my mission to clean house. Not literally “cleaning my house”…but removing people and situations that no longer bring me value. For so long I had grown accustomed to or shall I say addicted to certain situations and people.

One situation in particular was a romantic relationship that I was insistent on making it work. I swear…love is the strongest drug ever. Being addicted to love or to a certain person made me blind to all of the red flags. When I was high off love nobody could tell me nothing. My desperate need to feel loved would randomly come to a halt when lies, disappearing acts, cheating, and lack of communication ruined the relationship.

As I started to wake up…better yet come down from my “love” high, I realized that the relationship was just not meant to work. I truly wanted the relationship to work and did everything I could to maintain the relationship. But, the more I tried the more the person I loved did everything they could to ruin the relationship.

It’s simple! You can’t love someone that is not able to receive love. Sadly, most people grow up not learning how to love. And those people that grow up not knowing how to love oftentimes miss the opportunity of having a non-toxic relationship in their adult life. Broken people reflect broken behavior, and although a person can say they love you their actions have to show it.

When you’re dealing with a broken person they can cause you to question everything about yourself as they chip away at your self-esteem. However if you know you’re worth, broken people teach you a lesson and prepare you for something better.

The best thing to do when it comes to loving a broken person is to let them go, because the inner battle their fighting is far bigger than what you can fix. No relationship is worth loving another person more than yourself. It took me a while to learn and acknowledge the truth about love, but now I finally get the message I was intended to learn after all these years.

Until next time…

-Peach