Destination Peach

Where Reality and Inspiration Meet

Toxicity is a choice!

Hey Heyy,

Today’s blog post has been inspired by recent things I’ve seen online and conversations I’ve been having. Lately, I’ve noticed the glorifying of toxic behavior, toxic relationships, just overall toxic ways of living. Such glorification has many people confused into believing toxic behavior is a normal way of life.

I’m not sure who needs to hear this but, it’s not normal to…

  • Stay in an abusive relationship.
  • Curse, scream, and yell at people.
  • Be drunk and high all the time.
  • Be around drama all the time.
  • Always play the victim.
  • Cheat and manipulate.
  • Physically harm yourself or others.
  • Sexually violate people.
  • Be negative and complain all the time.

As adults we all have choices. Toxicity is a choice! I repeat, toxicity is a choice! As adults we have to take responsibility for the types of people and energetic situations we allow into our lives. When you allow toxic situations into your life, don’t cry woe is me. Active participation in dysfunction comes with consequences. Own your ish!

Now some people reading this may say, growing up in dysfunction is the reason they act a certain way. I understand but I can’t empathize with a diabolical excuse. How we are raised doesn’t give us the right to continue toxic behavior as adults. The moment we are able to distinguish what toxic behavior is, it is up to us to change those behaviors. This is why self-work is so important and one of the hardest jobs in our lives.

When we engage in toxic behavior it is a dishonor to ourselves. Do we not love ourselves enough to make healthier choices serving our highest self? Make good choices! Make non-toxic choices! If you find yourself getting off track, take a moment. Pause/reflect and get back on track.

Until Next Time,

-Peach

20 Days of Peach: Day Eight… What Bali Taught Me About Love

In Bali, some unresolved issues came up for me. That’s how healing works…we can’t pick and choose when our soul is ready to do “the work”. What I discovered about myself was, I haven’t been open to love. Open to love in the romantic sense. Over the last few years, while being single I have worked on loving myself and have done a great job.

However, I haven’t been open to receiving love from a romantic partner. I’ve dated, my heart hasn’t been open. To think of opening my heart again makes me feel vulnerable. It’s a vulnerable feeling, making me want to cry. There’s an untapped issue I haven’t dealt with. I have done a great job of protecting myself. I haven’t let anyone in. It feels safer that way. Being able to control my narrative of hurt, brings me peace. Let’s be honest, some people be out here living wild. Also, the dating scene… My aura cannot tolerate B.S.

I know I have residing fears from my previous relationship. I refuse to let those fears stop my love life. I’m willing to take the risk and let love in. Now that I’ve identified my issue, I am actively working on the issue. My first step started in Bali. I was open to conversation, we formed a connection. We later exchanged numbers. He’s a dope person. Who knows what’s to become of it. In my actions, I need the universe to understand and know I’m open.

We’ll see how this risk-taking thing goes.

Until Next Time,

-Peach

Three Years Later…What I Learned From Being Single

The best thing I did for myself was be single. I was in a toxic relationship and wouldn’t admit it was toxic! All the signs were there, I refused to pay attention. Owning my truth, I made contributions to the toxic nature of the relationship by staying in the relationship for so long. When I finally came to the over-standing that this wasn’t the type of love I desired in a romantic relationship, I left!

And when I left, I felt free but afraid. I was afraid because I had spent a decade+ with someone I loved. Yet, there was a freedom in knowing that I wasn’t tolerating any B.S. and was finally putting myself first.

Spending a decade+ with a person, it took time for me to transition. I literally had to mourn the relationship. In those three years…

I needed to be by myself.

I needed to focus on myself.

I needed to focus on my mental health.

I needed to focus on God.

Three years is a long time to be single, but in three years I have grown. Now I’m not trying to be single forever, I still go on dates. I’ve shared a few vibes with people. Just haven’t found my unicorn yet. I say unicorn because it takes a special type of person to requite the love I need. Plus, people suggest that there are no good men out there, I don’t believe that to be true. Hence, the unicorn title!

To end this blog post, I want to share a few things I learned while being single.

  1. I’m responsible for the energy I allow into my life.
  2. I don’t need a person to make me whole, I am whole on my own.
  3. It’s selfish to jump into another relationship without working on “my stuff” first.
  4. The only love I truly need is self-love.
  5. There’s valuable lessons to learn in pain and suffering.
  6. I ‘m not wasting my summers on people who are not worth my time (s/o to Dion Cole for the summer metaphor).
  7. All I need to do is work on myself and everything else will fall into place.
  8. I love who I am.
  9. I am very clear on what I want in a future partner.
  10. Glow ups are a real thing!

For the people going through a breakup just know it does get better. Take your time…heal and love yourself.

Until Next Time…

-Peach

Love More Hate Less

A few days ago, I took the observatory role and watched people online hate on who they perceive me to be. It is interesting how so many people feel more comfortable with manifesting and receiving the energy of hate.

As I watched in amazement, I just felt sad for them. I’m a very lowkey person, I don’t bother people. I stay in my lane. Truth be told…I’m focused on raising my vibration levels higher and being a positive influence in the world. So, to see several message threads directed towards me was crazy.

As I reflected, which is something I do all the time…I started to wonder why do people love to hate but, hate to love? In the process of my reflection, the online banter served as a teachable moment. A teachable moment for me to share, what I know to be true about love and hate.

Here’s what I know to be true…

Hating on another person is a mere reflection of where you are in life. Hate in the catalyst of limited self-love and self-worth. Instead of hating, people should be diligent in using words to uplift and heal people. Practicing hate allows self-pain to flourish. Hate is the indicator that a person has a lot of self-work to do. In the past I operated from a space of hate, however as I evolved my being/thinking changed.

Practicing love is easy when your solidified with who you are as a person.

Practicing love looks like:

  • Embracing differences
  • Having humility
  • Compassion
  • Practicing empathy
  • Associating yourself with people that support spreading love
  • Shamelessly admitting when you struggle with giving and receiving love
  • Doing your self-work

Love is powerful and liberating…hate just reflects our insecurities. Love more and hate less.

Until next time…

-Peach

The Truth About Love

oh well

As of lately I have been making it my mission to clean house. Not literally “cleaning my house”…but removing people and situations that no longer bring me value. For so long I had grown accustomed to or shall I say addicted to certain situations and people.

One situation in particular was a romantic relationship that I was insistent on making it work. I swear…love is the strongest drug ever. Being addicted to love or to a certain person made me blind to all of the red flags. When I was high off love nobody could tell me nothing. My desperate need to feel loved would randomly come to a halt when lies, disappearing acts, cheating, and lack of communication ruined the relationship.

As I started to wake up…better yet come down from my “love” high, I realized that the relationship was just not meant to work. I truly wanted the relationship to work and did everything I could to maintain the relationship. But, the more I tried the more the person I loved did everything they could to ruin the relationship.

It’s simple! You can’t love someone that is not able to receive love. Sadly, most people grow up not learning how to love. And those people that grow up not knowing how to love oftentimes miss the opportunity of having a non-toxic relationship in their adult life. Broken people reflect broken behavior, and although a person can say they love you their actions have to show it.

When you’re dealing with a broken person they can cause you to question everything about yourself as they chip away at your self-esteem. However if you know you’re worth, broken people teach you a lesson and prepare you for something better.

The best thing to do when it comes to loving a broken person is to let them go, because the inner battle their fighting is far bigger than what you can fix. No relationship is worth loving another person more than yourself. It took me a while to learn and acknowledge the truth about love, but now I finally get the message I was intended to learn after all these years.

Until next time…

-Peach