Destination Peach

Where Reality and Inspiration Meet

2016 Year In Review

2016 has been the most challenging yet beautiful year of my life. Challenging in the sense that I had to remove myself of old patterned behaviors, to transcend into my new journey of life. Honestly speaking, I was not ready to make a change but the universe felt differently.

When I reflect back, January till mid-June were the darkest days of my life. I literally didn’t want to wake up, and didn’t find my life purposeful. For half of the year I was severely depressed, and had massive anxiety attacks all the time. Stuck in the midst of my struggles, I started to wonder what would my life be like if I dared greatly (shout out to Brene Brown).

When I finally built the courage to dare greatly, I…

  • Put myself first
  • Loved myself
  • Left an emotionally abusive relationship
  • Quit my job
  • Struggled financially to gain inner peace and unconsciously improved my finances
  • Traveled a lot
  • Lost friends
  • Built stronger friendships
  • Committed myself to a spiritual journey
  • Ascended spiritually
  • Evolved in therapy
  • Started/maintained a self-care regimen
  • Started eating healthy which resulted in weight loss
  • Grew as a writer
  • Purged everything that no longer served me

From daring greatly, I am no longer in that dark space anymore. 2016 I categorized by the mantra #yearofpeach. I successfully accomplished my mantra! But who knew…that I would have to lose everything to gain so much more in return. I gained myself back! I gained back PEACH! I arrived at my destination (point intended) Destination Peach. Nothing can take away the inner joy and happiness I feel. I still have my down moments but that’s natural. Everything I envisioned for myself and manifested on my vision board came into existence. I did my self-work and I’m excited for 2017!

Until next time…

-Peach

Finding The Doyle Plantation

img_1256A year of so when I first started Destination Peach, I did a blog post titled Southern Peach. In the post, I mentioned that I would talk about my family heritage. Specifically, what that experience was like when visiting Birmingham, Alabama. And now I’m finally ready to talk about it!

When my family originally visited Birmingham, it was for the funeral of my great aunt Mary on my mom’s side. However, the Birmingham visit turned into an endless road trip (shout to my uncle Keith). Alright, let me get back on track. When we were in Birmingham, I came up with the idea to track our historical roots. Tracking our historical roots, led us to the Doyle plantation. Doyle is my mother’s maiden name. While in Birmingham I started asking the elders about the Doyle plantation, and they gave specific instructions on how to get there.

Now my family was looking at me like I was bat-shit crazy. I was asked multiple times…why should we know about our history and the Doyle plantation? I had to remind my family that, we need to know where we come from and understand how our ancestors fought for us to be here. As a consensus, everyone said… “we feel you Peach, let’s go find the Doyle plantation”. With my plans in action I was excited and extremely nervous.

The day we set off to find the plantation, we started the adventure early. Starting the adventure early was key because we didn’t want to be in the backwoods of Birmingham at night. Like going to the club, we rolled out deep. Five trucks riding through the backwoods of Birmingham. On our way to the plantation we got lost several times, GPS stopped working. Everyone wanted to turn around.

In my mind…I was like, ” we came to far to turn around”. So, I started to ask people living in the area for help. I literally got out of the car, and knocked on the homes of people who had their confederate flags waving high. One home in particular, I was extremely nervous to knock on the door. I asked my family to stay in the cars, because a group of Black people knocking on doors wasn’t the scene we needed at the moment. As I knocked on the door, a man came out.

The man said: Can I help you?

Me: Yes sir.

Man: What do you want?

Me: I am looking for the Doyle plantation, its where my family is from. I’m not from here.

Man: Where are you from?

Me: Colorado.

Man: Where all the weed is?

Me: Yes!

Man: I would sure love to visit Colorado, I can smoke all the weed I want.

Me: Colorado is a lovely place.

Me: Sir do you know how to get to the Doyle plantation?

Man: Sure, let me help you…and I want you to meet my family.

Me: Absolutely!

Man: Hey y’all…she’s from Colorado.

As the man started to give me the instructions to the Doyle plantation he reiterated that we needed to be careful because we could randomly end up in swamp water. After 40 minutes, we finally found the plantation. Once we arrived at the plantation, it was the most interesting experience ever. I didn’t know how to feel. This was the land my people were slaves on. While observing the plantation, the family that now owns the property came out to speak. The family insisted that it wasn’t a plantation. In my mind, “I was like… so ma’am your just gonna act like this isn’t a plantation with all these cotton crops around…okay!”

img_1231From the original pictures and instructions this was the Doyle plantation. The new owners spruced up the plantation, to make it not seem like a plantation. Intuitively, I knew it was the Doyle plantation.

img_1236As we spent an hour at the plantation, I knew my family was forever changed. After the experience, I later found out that my grandfather was named after the slave master. And the story of what happened to my great-grand father is still to be determined. Learning that slavery was not that far removed from my family, gave me the motivation I needed to keep going. My next genealogy quest is to track the indigenous roots of my grandmother Essie Mae.

Knowing who you are and where you come from is powerful liberation!

Until next time…

-Peach

Destination Series: Phoenix Peach

img_0394Tis the holiday season… fa la la la! To kick-start the holiday season, I went to Phoenix, AZ for Thanksgiving. In Phoenix, I had a great time catching up with family and being in warm weather. Arizona is a common destination for me, but this trip was different. For the first time, I was able to explore. Typically, when I go to Arizona it is school related and I am on a tight schedule.

Prior to even going to Phoenix, the original plan was to be in Ubud, Bali. However, my plans took a slight detour. I pushed back my Bali plans until March 2017. I figured what better way to bring in my birthday then in Bali? That said, I’m glad I didn’t miss the opportunity to catch up with family, I truly enjoyed my time in Phoenix.

While in Phoenix, I was able to find some of the cultural/artistic gems of Phoenix. Here are a few of the shots I captured.

Roosevelt Row Arts District

img_0453 img_0458 img_0460 img_0474 img_0479 img_0483img_0493

Phoenix Art Museum

img_0442img_0428

The Heard Museum


 img_0412 img_0420img_0400

If your considering visiting Arizona, the winter time is the perfect time to go. Arizona has such rich cultural history that is often overlooked. If you want more details about the places I visited in Phoenix, leave a comment below.

Until next time…

-Peach

How To Survive Graduate School

Today in casual conversation, a person asked me how have I been committed to my doctoral program for so long? It took me a while to give a response, considering that I didn’t want to go into Kanye mode and respond with, “it’s because I’m great…that’s HOW”. As I pondered for a moment and gave my humbled response of, “GOD, my parents, my older brother, Essie Mae, all my ancestors, and therapy”…it dawned on me.

It dawned on me that I have been enrolled in universities as a full-time student since 2005.  In the 11-year time span, I completed my bachelor’s and master’s. And I am several months away from completing my doctoral program. From the many blog posts I have written about my education journey, being a graduate student is not easy.

For those of you on the higher education journey, I wanted to share some tips that have helped me make it this far…in hopes that it can help you to!

21 tips to survive graduate school:

  1. Be intentional– Know your degree program, and set your intentions on the bigger picture of degree completion.
  2. Stay organized– Keep a planner, and write memos in your phone.
  3. Have a support system– Family, friends, instructors, and cohorts can help you persevere when the struggle gets real.
  4. Understand you will lose people– When you embark on the graduate school journey, you will learn rather quickly who is worth your time.
  5. Schedule self-care– Schedule time to take care of yourself. If you fail to take care of yourself, you won’t have the stamina you need to take on the challenges of graduate school.
  6. Life Happens– Know that everything will go wrong at the wrong time, staying calm and centered will help you tremendously.
  7. Study often– Procrastination in graduate school is deadly. Make the most of your time and study. You can’t wing your way through graduate school.
  8. Make studying a priority– Schedule days and times for when you will study. Let no one interfere with your arranged study time.
  9. Network– Instructors and students can connect you with amazing resources.
  10. Ask for help– You don’t have all the answers. When you ask for help, be explicit with the questions you ask.
  11. Get into the habit of collecting references– Collecting references will come in handy for future courses and dissertation research.
  12. Start thinking about your dissertation topic in advance– The more you ponder your topic, the less stress you will have about selecting a dissertation topic.
  13. Read and read some more– Reading should be your favorite hobby as a graduate student.
  14. Write for your life– Enough SAID!!!
  15. Get rest– You can’t operate effectively when you’re tired.
  16. Say no– Don’t feel obligated to do everything.
  17. GPA’s– GPA’s don’t carry much weight once you graduate. Focus on the learning process, instead of a grade.
  18. Make a commitment– Commit to yourself that you will graduate no matter the circumstance.
  19. Don’t take a break– Avoid breaks at all costs! The chances of students actually returning to school after a break is very slim.
  20. It’s not easy-Know that graduate school is not intended to be easy for a reason.
  21. Get in-Work Hard-Get Out…Then save the world! – Words advised by a phenomenal professor.

Hope this list helps #happystudying.

Until next time…

-Peach

Self-Care Series: Smudging

burning-sageEnergy is everything! It’s important to get your energy right. If you ever felt like the energy was not right in your home, work environment, your soul/spirit…or anywhere else…then you should try smudging. Smudging is an energy cleansing ritual created by Indigenous people.  I love to smudge! When I first discovered smudging it was referred to me by my therapist. However, shortly after I started smudging, I learned that it was a part of my Indigenous cultural roots.

I smudge several times a week, which some may think is a little too much. But who cares. To smudge the key ingredient you need is sage. My preference in sage is, white sage. I find the smell of white sage to be pleasant and relaxing. When I do smudge…I smudge my house, myself, and let the smell linger while meditating. When I am on the go, or in public places where a fire alarm may go off, I use my liquid white sage spray.

Typically, you can find sage in spirit stores, Indigenous trading post stores, or even on Amazon. There are trendy stores that sell sage and crystals. However, I question the authenticity of the sage and crystals in trendy stores. I’ll talk about crystals on a different post. I say that to say…to perform a historical ritual, you must buy your spiritual materials from places/spaces that reflect spiritual/Indigenous cultures.

Here’s what you need for your smudge starter kit and ritual experience:

  1. Find sage of your choice
  2. Light the smudge stick
  3. Walk around your space wisping the smudge stick
  4. Say a prayer or mantra while smudging to remove negative energy
  5. Open windows to release the negative energies

Believe me, once you try smudging you with start to feel the energy around you shift more positively.

Until next time…

-Peach

Podcast Roundup

It’s been a while since I’ve shared my favorite podcasts. I wanted to do a quick round-up of my favorite podcasts at the moment. The podcasts I listen too are intentional in the context of helping me raise my vibration levels higher. With raising your vibration levels, you have to be conscious of what you listen to (amongst many other things). Listening to motivating/uplifting content puts me in a great mental space. However, there are days when I just want to listen to something a little rachet…it’s all about balance right?

Here are my current podcast faves:

  1. The Friend Zone
  2. Wining with Doctoral Students
  3. Insecuritea: The Insecure Aftershow
  4. Black Girl In Om
  5. Tax Season
  6. Happy Black Woman Podcast with Rosetta Thurman
  7. The Brilliant Idiots
  8. Having It A.L.L with Matthew Bivens
  9. Mattielogie
  10. The Read

Take a listen to these podcasts if your’re in need of interesting yet unpredictable audio content. #Happylistening

Until next time…

-Peach

Unfriendly Arrival: Living With Anxiety

anxietyAnxiety has a funny way of reappearing. Just when you think you’ve freed yourself of anxiety, it returns. Randomly! Over the past several months I have been doing an AMAZING job of not having any anxiety attacks. I’ve felt anxiety symptoms here and there, but no attacks. What has helped me get my anxiety under control has been therapy and a series of regimens. This past Sunday morning I received and unfriendly arrival, in the form of back-to-back anxiety attacks. In the moment of trying to talk myself through my anxiety, I felt defeated. Defeated in knowing that I had lost control of my anxiety. Defeated in knowing that it would take my body sometime to recover from, the intense mental and physical effects of anxiety. Defeated in knowing that I had shit to do on Sunday that could not get done. Defeated in knowing that nothing felt better than lying in bed away from the world. Through my defeat, I found clarity in my shamelessness.

When it comes to discussing anxiety, I’m not afraid to talk about it. Anxiety has been something I struggled with since I was a child. It wasn’t until my adult life, as I laid in the ER room…that I was actually able to identify my disorder. Anxiety is associated with fear, worry, and stress. Like many people in the world…I worry and stress at an absurd amount. Society attaches stigmas to anxiety. The stigma of your crazy, your too emotional, your making shit up, and your just nervous. The stigmas impose unrealistic views about what anxiety truly is.

And no, telling someone with anxiety to:

  1. Calm down
  2. Stop worrying
  3. There’s nothing wrong with you
  4. Relax

Does not work. To all the people overcoming some form of anxiety you’re not alone. You don’t have to suffer in silence, ask for help. Live your truth!

Until next time…

-Peach

One Year Blogiversary

peachToday marks one year ago that Destination Peach officially went live.  A lot has happened in the span of a year. From my blog posts…you can tell there has been an equal balance of me experiencing, good and challenging life moments. I remember when I first started Destination Peach I was afraid to go live. I wrote and published my first blog post Late Registration back in, June 2015. Yet the only person that could read what I published was me. Once I built up the courage to do more with my writing…it took me several months later to go live. Not to mention, I went through many blog designers, prior to finding a blog designer that understood my vision.

For the next year, the goal is to keep the momentum going with Destination Peach with more consistent/quality blog posts. The goal is to also, birth my book titled Destination Peach (which I have already started writing). Mind you, I will be pursuing these passion projects, while trying to complete my terminal degree (only five classes left).

I just want to thank everyone that continuously reads and supports Destination Peach, it MEANS THE WORLD TO ME! This is only the beginning, there are many great things to come.

Until next time…

-Peach

Self-Care Series: Sipping Tea

Nothing is more calming then a nice hot cup of tea. When it comes to mental, physical, and spiritual healing, tea drinking is a well-known self-care practice. What started as a Chinese tradition quickly expanded into different cultures and regions. Currently on the market, there is a large assortment of teas that you can buy and many different ways you can drink tea.

I love tea! I collect all different types of teas. My reasoning for collecting so many different types of teas is that, I need a tea for every situation. My favorite teas at the moment are positive energy, tension tamer, green tea, skin detox, and chai tea. I developed my tea drinking habit from my dad. He would always rise early in the morning and drink green tea. Unbeknownst to me, this was and still is my dad’s favorite form of meditation. When I was a child I could never understand why my dad would drink tea, but now as an adult I completely get it. Tea is a self-care practice that consciously encourages you to be still.

When you drink tea, you should be intentional. Be intentional in the type of tea you select, make sure it fits the mood you are in. Also, be intentional when you sip your tea. Every sip you take, savor the moment with reflection and breathwork.

If you haven’t already…take care of yourself and be still with a cup of tea.

Until next time…

-Peach

Library Chronicles: The Doctoral Journey

library

Every Sunday morning like clockwork I am in the library. I’ve always loved the library as a child because I could read books, write in my journal, and let my imagination run wild in the stillness of a silent library. As an adult I still find myself in the library doing the exact same thing. The library has been my biggest liaison in helping me work through my doctoral classes and write my dissertation. Although I graduate in 2017, the end goal seems so far away.

The doctoral journey has been the most challenging and complex situation I have ever experienced in my life. Yesterday on the way home from the library, I had a mini-melt down. Wondering when will I ever have a normal life. A normal life where I can socialize more often. A normal life where I don’t study every day. A normal life where I am not held to a word count. As I wiped my tears and listened to some Kanye, I quickly gained my composure.

I’m not gonna lie…this shit is hard! But I’ll be damned if I go ABD (All but Dissertation). The doctoral journey calls for a high level of discipline.  A level of discipline that I have been able to maintain and at times exceed. The doctoral process is a lonely. Every time I feel like giving up, I know that I have come too far and spent too much money. I suppose everything I feel is all a part of the doctoral process. Even though I feel indifferent at the moment, I will be in the library this week. The dissertation I am crafting is influential. In fact…the dissertation is bigger than me! I am just the messenger that is called to bring light to the explored narrative.

I will continue to post more doctoral updates, with the assumption that it can help someone in their academic journey. But as of right now…I am literally writing for my life.

Until next time…

-Peach