Destination Peach

Where Reality and Inspiration Meet

Three Years Later…What I Learned From Being Single

The best thing I did for myself was be single. I was in a toxic relationship and wouldn’t admit it was toxic! All the signs were there, I refused to pay attention. Owning my truth, I made contributions to the toxic nature of the relationship by staying in the relationship for so long. When I finally came to the over-standing that this wasn’t the type of love I desired in a romantic relationship, I left!

And when I left, I felt free but afraid. I was afraid because I had spent a decade+ with someone I loved. Yet, there was a freedom in knowing that I wasn’t tolerating any B.S. and was finally putting myself first.

Spending a decade+ with a person, it took time for me to transition. I literally had to mourn the relationship. In those three years…

I needed to be by myself.

I needed to focus on myself.

I needed to focus on my mental health.

I needed to focus on God.

Three years is a long time to be single, but in three years I have grown. Now I’m not trying to be single forever, I still go on dates. I’ve shared a few vibes with people. Just haven’t found my unicorn yet. I say unicorn because it takes a special type of person to requite the love I need. Plus, people suggest that there are no good men out there, I don’t believe that to be true. Hence, the unicorn title!

To end this blog post, I want to share a few things I learned while being single.

  1. I’m responsible for the energy I allow into my life.
  2. I don’t need a person to make me whole, I am whole on my own.
  3. It’s selfish to jump into another relationship without working on “my stuff” first.
  4. The only love I truly need is self-love.
  5. There’s valuable lessons to learn in pain and suffering.
  6. I ‘m not wasting my summers on people who are not worth my time (s/o to Dion Cole for the summer metaphor).
  7. All I need to do is work on myself and everything else will fall into place.
  8. I love who I am.
  9. I am very clear on what I want in a future partner.
  10. Glow ups are a real thing!

For the people going through a breakup just know it does get better. Take your time…heal and love yourself.

Until Next Time…

-Peach

My Morning Routine

On YouTube, I’ve seen videos of people sharing their morning routines, so I decided to share mine. We all know, how you start the day sets the tone for the rest of your day. To start my day…I start my routine at night. Before going to bed, I pick out my clothes and take a shower. Getting things prepared at night helps me ease into my morning without feeling overwhelmed.

When I rise, I instantly say three things I am grateful for and I pray. Starting my day with gratitude allows me to be thankful for my human experience. After expressing gratitude, I’ll take a few deep breaths, drink water, and get out of the bed. As soon as I get out the bed. I make my bed and head to the bathroom. In the bathroom, I sit and gather my thoughts. I move very slowly in the morning. As I sit, I find a motivational podcast, song, or video to listen/watch. Once I fine some inspirational content to get me going, I start getting dressed. Listening or watching inspirational content while washing my face or brushing my teeth adds perspective to my mornings.

When I’m done getting dressed, before I head out the door I say my prayers and leave for work. During my drive to work, I call loved ones and chat it up. When I arrive at work I sit at my desk, take out my notebook and write down my intentions for today. For example, today my intention was to operate from a space of peace (considering that I’m tried and feeling annoyed). After writing my intentions, I write down tangible goals to accomplish for the day. Midway through my day I check in to see how I’m feeling, and identify where I’m at on my goal list.

My morning routine truly works for me. One of my goals for 2019 was to have a solid morning routine. I started with the perception that my morning routine had to be rigid. I later determined my morning routine was successful when I went with the flow. With being in flow, I cultivated mindful activities which changed depending on my current needs. From implementing a more sustainable morning routine I have seen valuable improvements my overall day-to-day obligations.

Let’s continue the conversation below. What is your morning routine and how does it help you get your day started?

Until next time…

-Peach

Beautiful Men

This past Saturday I went to a day party. I love day parties! Day parties are genius, you party in the day but still have time to do other things like…run errands and sleep. Most importantly, you wake up the next day without remorse.

While at the day party, I was talking with my cousin and her friend. As we were talking we got into a discussion about telling men they’re attractive. Hence, our conversation was inspired by a muse standing 4ft away from us. In mid-conversation, I told the ladies “just go tell him he’s attractive”. The ladies instantly said “NO” in unison. I said, “okay…watch this!”. I was feeling bold-bold!

I walked up to the muse (aka Mr. FIONE aka Mr. Michael B. Jordan who?). In speaking with this man, I told him he was beautiful and he blushed! My intentions in telling him he was beautiful, was not to get his number or seem thirsty it was to spread joy! Spreading joy and raising the vibration was my intention. The old me would have never walked up to a man just to tell him he’s gorgeous, but the evolved me has no problem with letting a muse know he’s the perfect eye candy.

For some reason, it’s rare for people to directly tell a person their attractive without wanting anything in return. I wonder why? Maybe it is the initial reaction that can come about from said interaction. That said, I have started a challenge to walk up to random people and let them know their beautiful! Giving people compliments is a way of spreading love and raising the vibration of those around you. So far, the challenge has gone good.

Let me know in the comments below, have you every walked up to a random person and told them they were beautiful and what type of response did you receive?

Until Next Time…

-Peach

Doctoral Life: The Marathon Continues…

Five years later and I am still in school. Still trying to graduate. I never imagined it would take me this long to graduate. When I started my doctoral program, I had no clue what I was getting myself into. The doctoral program and dissertation takes marathon energy to successfully graduate.

When I last wrote about my dissertation, I had passed the Institutional Board Review and was ready for final dissertation approval. When I made it to final review, I was told by my committee that I wasn’t ready to go to the next step. When I found out the news I was devastated! Really devastated! Devastated like my first romantic relationship heartbreak. I was so devastated, I had to take a break from working on my dissertation to restore my mental health and live life. In the process of restoring my mental health and living life, I took a 9 month break from school. In my break, I even thought about quitting school and going ABD (all but degree).

While trying to figure out if I was going to finish school, I pray-fully asked God and my ancestors what to do? Do I finish school or not? Please send me a sign. A day later, I received an email from a research participant with access to additional participants. This was the affirmative sign I needed to move forward with my doctoral journey.What I learned from the experience is that school is not worth the mental distress. When I read an article about a doctoral student committing suicide, I empathize because that could have been me. My extreme devastation was a red flag. Speaking on behalf of many doctoral students, these research projects become our livelihood and we sacrifice a lot!  

Mental health issues in doctoral programs is a real thing. To the doctoral students out there…whether you are just starting your journey, in the middle of your journey, or at the tail end of your journey, seek support! The doctoral journal cannot be accomplished alone.  Find your tribe! For those wondering, I still work on my dissertation. I will graduate! Now knowing what I know, I work on my dissertation in a more tolerable manner.

Let’s continue the conversation below…for those of you who have been enrolled in a graduate degree program, how have you overcome the mental stressors of school?

Until next time…

-Peach

You Know the Vibe!

Vibrations! We are all energetic beings. Just bodies in motion, moving through different frequencies. Depending on our mental, physical, and spiritual awareness this influences the vibrations we give off and the vibrations we receive/attract.

I’m writing this post because I hear so many people say…

  • “why is this happening to me?”
  • “why do I keep attracting the same type of people?”
  • “why isn’t my manifestation happening faster?”

IDK who needs to hear this but… it’s US! We are the reason for the energetic vibrations we attract. Pun intended, you know the vibe! On a subconscious and conscious level, you know the vibe you give off.

We must take responsibility our vibes. To be unaware of your vibe is problematic. Unrequited vibes are a sign of limited respect for yourself and those around you.

We can’t be mad at the universe for receiving energy we played a role in. Understanding your vibrational frequency is key. Inability to own your frequency, empowers karma to pull up and “wait for you at the front door”.

Taking responsibility for the vibrations you bring into work, relationships, and social settings. Basically, where ever you go owning your energy is the dopest thing you can do!

To be better in tuned with your vibes…here are a few practices to help you be more mindful throughout the day.

  1. Take three deep breaths and ask yourself:
    • How do you feel?
    • What do you need in the present moment?
  2. Make a mental observation of the people around you:
    • How do the people around you make you feel?
    • Is your energy motivated or depleted with the people around?
    • Do you physically feel good or bad with the people around you?
  3. Consumption:
    • How long were you on social media today?
    • How has the internet or other media consumption made you feel today?

Let’s keep the conversation going. Below, add a comment on how you stay in tuned with your vibes and repeal away the unrequited vibes.

Until Next Time…

-Peach

Healing Ain’t Easy!

My hiatus from the Destination Peach blog has been the longest break I’ve taken. My time away has been in the initiative of healing.

From the many blog posts, I wrote pre-hiatus… I assumed all my healing work was done. To my surprise, I was just on the brink of my healing journey. My healing work, has been (and still is) a deep intimate process. To unlearn patterns, to be still, to love myself, to fail, to get back up and try again, to forgive, to create, to connect with the most high, to raise my vibration, to fully live life…this process had to be done offline.

Healing is not easy! Healing is not a glamorous process. Healing looks like isolation. Healing looks like ugly crying. Healing looks like emotional ebbs and flows. Healing requires the embracing of what is.

So where am I now…

I am in a better space then when I last blogged. Moving to Arizona was the exact trigger I needed to shift into my new reality. I don’t have everything figured out. But, what I know for sure is that I am growing and I am genuinely happy. There is still a lot I need to unpack emotionally and mentally but, it will happen in divine timing.

There are many things I intend to share on this blog, as I experience more life. I hope the readers of this blog will grow with me as I continue to evolve.

Until next time…

– Peach  

Where You Been Peach?

Happy New Year! It has been so long since I wrote a blog post. To be honest…I haven’t felt like writing. I didn’t have anything to write about. When I would draft potential blog posts, everything felt forced. So, I decided not to write! I am a firm believer that writing should be intentional and purposeful. When writing shifts away from being intentional and purposeful, it is a waste of time.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been missing the creative outlet that writing provides me. But, I decided that I am only going to write when it feels right! When I feel inspired to write! When I feel like I have something to say. My intentions for writing when it feels inspiringly right…goes against my original writing schedule for this blog. However, life happens and as life happens we must adjust in a mutable manner.

I say all of that to say, there will be future blog posts but only when it feels right.

Until next time…

– Peach

DOCTORAL LIFE

It’s been a while since I felt like writing. Truth be told the only, the only written work I have done has been towards my dissertation. Today is the official day! The official day that I can now say that I only have two months until graduation. Two months away from change the title of my name.

Yesterday after having a conversation with my committee on changes I needed to make to my dissertation. I began to wonder do I have what it takes to make it to the finish line? The dissertation process is like being blind folded in a maze, stuck in the dark, trying to find the exit successful. And in the maze, I keep channeling my inner Kanye West by asking…HOW SWAY? For every step, I have made in my dissertation moments like yesterday made me feel like I took another 10 steps back.

Feeling defeated, I took a break from studying to binge watch YouTube. To my surprise the universe provided me with the vibrational energy I needed to push through. The MazeLee family posted a YouTube video titled Day in the Life of a Super Mom: Getting A PHD With 6 Kids. Alena Maze is an amazing woman! From watching the tribute video…I felt all of her emotions as she spoke to her professor, spoke about needing to finish her dissertation, and not having enough time. At to that, Maze I would just like to say I feel you! Thank you for providing light and encouragement.

As I ponder on my next plan for dissertation execution, I will continue to trust the process. For those that may feel like giving up today, DON’T!

Until next time…

-Peach

21 Easy Ways I Quickly Reduce Anxiety

The moments when I feel very anxious, my mindfulness practices like meditation and deep breathing go out the window. When I’m in the fight instead of flight mode…or in my lizard instead of wizard brain…it takes me sometime to be conscious of the tools I know to reduce my anxious feelings. The other day when I was worrying about the stressors of life, my anxious feelings catapulted me to a place I didn’t want to be. Trying to progressive and relieve myself of an anxiety attack…I said to myself “what can you do in this very moment to stop feeling anxious?” I made a mental note of things I like to do and committed to doing those exact things. True enough, by the end of the day I was feeling a little better.

Here are the 21 easy ways I reduced my anxiety. Hopefully, these 21 practices can help or inspire you to construct your own practices in moments you are feeling anxious.

  1. Accept that I am feeling anxious
  2. Sleep!
  3. Go get a smoothie
  4. Listen to a podcast
  5. Take a drive
  6. Watch YouTube
  7. Talk to my mom
  8. Sit in the park
  9. Silence my phone
  10. Not respond to phone calls/text messages
  11. Stretch
  12. Take a nice long bath or shower
  13. Get dressed in my favorite color
  14. Light incenses
  15. Read uplifting content
  16. Listen to meditation music
  17. Eat a good meal
  18. Make jewelry
  19. Clean up
  20. Go for a walk
  21. Acknowledge that tomorrow will be a better day

The running theme throughout these 21 practices is being kind to myself. Remember to be kind to yourself and take-it-easy!

Until next time…

– Peach

30 Day Vegetarian Challenge

For the past 30 days, I went on a vegetarian eating challenge. Today marks the end of my challenge. As I contemplate on what type of fish I want to devour, I know damn well that I am going to extend my challenge for another 30 days. The first 30 days was rough. I was not prepared! Researching proteins to eat (I’m allergic to nuts) and making meals that tasted horrible made me rethink my 30 day commitment.

I have been transitioning my eating habits since November, 2016. Since November, I have lost 30 pounds! With my weight loss, I stopped craving certain foods. It took me sometime to transition into plant-based eating habits. I still ate fish occasionally. Yet, I wanted to challenge myself to a 30 day vegetarian lifestyle.

When I originally started the 30 day challenge, I wanted to go vegan. Several hours into the challenge I decided that I needed to take baby steps and try vegetarianism first before going vegan. The past 30 days have not been easy, especially is social settings. But, I am optimistic about the next 30 days.

In 30 days…here’s what happened:

  • I felt physically weak
  • I craved fish
  • I learned new recipes
  • I amped up my vitamin intake
  • I had frequent bowl movement
  • I ate too much junk food
  • I released a lot of emotions
  • I was tired but had energy
  • My brain fog got cleared
  • My vibrational frequency raised
  • Chipotle saved me many times
  • I was more aware of meat being the focus of all meals
  • I was proud of myself for staying committed to the 30 day challenge

For the next 30 days, I am hoping to improve the meals I eat. After the next 30 days, I will determine if the vegetarian lifestyle is for me. If you know any good vegetarian/vegan meals. please share the recipe in the comments below.

Until next time…

– Peach